She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
