I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
