You can't motorboat a personality
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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