WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This baby is an asshole
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
