a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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