I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
