how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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