there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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