im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
