While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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