I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
