was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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