Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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