GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
