at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
