Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I would fuck him just for his dog
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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