I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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