I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
