you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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