I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
