How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
