Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
