How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
