im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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