Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
