Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
