apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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