The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she pinky promised me she was 18
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
