It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
