Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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