I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
