Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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