all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
