This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
