I don't usually arrange sex via text message
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
