I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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