So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
