she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
