TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
