Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
