just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i out mim tonsoeep
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