I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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