I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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