so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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