He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.ā€¯ \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
