$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
