Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
