I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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