Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
