Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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