Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
