Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
