I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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