you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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