Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Drunk is not a location!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
